"I used to be the fist-pounder on the table. I had to learn how to be a real mediator. It gave me a whole new perspective on dealing with my PTSD." Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder affects one in every 11 people in the U.S. That means you likely know someone who is struggling every day with the devastating effects of PTSD. June is National PTSD Awareness Month. Spreading awareness about PTSD is not something I wait for other people to do. For those who do not know, one of my dearest friends is in his 17th year of living with PTSD. Together, we wrote and published Wars End With Me, the story of his ongoing battle. I met Pat Strobel in 2002 when I was working as a reporter at a daily newspaper in his hometown of Butler, Pa. When he deployed to Iraq in February 2003, my editor tasked me with chronicling Pat’s service in the pages of the newspaper. Every few weeks, as Pat had time, he would send me some photos of himself and a quick update on what it was like living – and fighting – in an active warzone. Less than seven months after he was deployed, I received a call to tell me that he was seriously injured when his convoy came under attack in Fallujah. The physical injuries and emotional trauma Pat suffered that day forever changed him. For the last 17 years, Pat has struggled with PTSD. It has complicated his personal and professional life. Three years have passed since we first published his story. What better way to catch up with our readers, who have joined Pat on every step of his journey? I reached out to Pat who, as always, is willing to share the most personal moments of his life in the pursuit of helping others with PTSD. What follows is a progress report and encouragement for others with PTSD to keep fighting the good fight. Going Dutch on PTSD Shortly after our book launched in December 2018, Pat was offered a three-year assignment as a director of maintenance. The catch: he would serve out the stint in the Netherlands, overseeing a Dutch workforce performing maintenance on U.S. Army pre-positioned stock. His new job was part of a partnership between the U.S. and Dutch governments. Pat was tasked with teaching former Dutch military personnel with mechanical backgrounds how to perform maintenance on U.S. Army equipment. “That director of maintenance job was short-lived, because my boss was unexpectedly reassigned, and someone needed to step up,” said Pat. That someone was him. “I assumed that role, and that’s when the job became really challenging.” His new job required a little bit of finesse and a lot of political correctness. “And good communication skills to keep major political incidents from cropping up,” Pat added. The last job Pat had in the U.S. before taking on this new assignment prepared him well. His biggest responsibilities there were contracts and negotiations. Those skills came in handy when he had to mediate between the U.S. Army and the Dutch government over a stalemate on the fine details of the working relationship. Serving as a mediator was a new experience for Pat. He had served with the 3rd Armored Cavalry Regiment out of Fort Carson, Colo. during his active enlistment. He was the guy who fixed all the equipment, to put it simply. Fixing people was never his skill set. Until now. “I used to be the fist-pounder on the table,” he said. “That kind of behavior doesn’t work with the Dutch people. They are very laid back and not easily rattled. I had to learn how to be a real mediator. It gave me a whole new perspective on dealing with my PTSD.” Family ties Leaving his family behind for three years was the most difficult part of taking the new assignment. It was an unfortunate negative that he worked around because, as Pat puts it, he needed a reset. He made it home just twice – with an additional visit in the Netherlands from his wife – before COVID-19 hit and locked everything down. With just two months left on his current assignment, Pat said he is eager to return home for good. One of the good things that happened with his family involves his son, Josh. For those who have read Wars End With Me, you know that Josh enlisted in the military (much to Pat’s dismay). He did not want his son to suffer the same way he had and believed the stress over his son’s decision was a trigger for his PTSD. After a few years as a Corporal in the 101st Airborne and several deployments to Africa, Josh Strobel now has a full-time position with the Iowa National Guard. The new role removed him from active duty in the Army, which has made Pat extremely happy. “It’s one less thing for me to worry about. I don’t have to wonder where he’s at. Once I’m home, I’ll get to see him all the time. If I could have done what he’s doing, I would have. I didn’t even know that active guard existed when I joined the Army.” A different kind of therapy One of the downsides of his three-year stint in the Netherlands was the lack of access to his usual therapy for his PTSD. Working with the Dutch, Pat said, was an alternative form of therapy. Before his new assignment, Pat struggled a lot with angry outbursts because of his PTSD. He has mellowed out and attributes his attitude adjustment to Dutch influence. “The Dutch really have shown me that life shouldn’t be so competitive. Everybody is playing music. Everybody is happy. It’s just a different mentality.” The Dutch do not feel pressured to perform at work the same way Americans do, Pat noted. Screaming and banging his fists on the table when things were not going as planned did not motivate them. It forced him to find a new way to lead. He discovered presenting them with metrics about their job performance compared with others doing similar work (who were more efficient at their tasks) was the best inspiration. “They taught me so much about leadership. I tried to shape my leadership style around their ethics because, at the end of the day, I was trying to extract as much talent from them as I could. Knowing what motivates workers is the key to effective leadership. That, and a lot of patience. I’m definitely learning a lot of patience,” he said, laughing. Lessons learned, anger burned The last three years had their fair of challenges, but Pat is thankful for the experience. “There was nothing but success stories here. That’s what I liked about this place. Getting back around maintenance – grease, oil – it was good for my morale and good for my PTSD. I was starting to doubt myself before I came here. Coming here and separating myself from all those things was almost therapeutic.” Pat said his new attitude will help him better manage his PTSD and his job opportunities once he returns to the U.S. “I don’t know where the perfect job is or if there is such a thing. What I do know is this job I have now has taught me that I just need to shut up and color.” AuthorShari Berg has known she wanted to be a writer since she was old enough to hold a pencil in her hand. She believes everyone has a story to tell, and it’s her job to discover it. Shari owns The Write Reflection, a Pittsburgh-based copywriting and content writing company that empowers small business owners to wield the power of words.
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I sighed with relief on Monday morning as I watched my book go live on Amazon.
From the time Patrick reached out to me, until the time Wars End With Me went live on Monday, it's been four long years. With the help - and patience - of a lot of people, we've finally brought Patrick's dream to tell his story to fruition. When we started this book nearly four years ago, we had no idea where the journey would lead us – or that it would take so long to get there. But, like the daily battle our veterans and active military personnel who have been diagnosed with PTSD face, we made the commitment to continue on until every word we wanted to share was included somewhere in the pages of this book. First and foremost, we would like to thank our families. Our mothers, fathers, siblings, children and spouses have been our biggest cheerleaders throughout this entire process. You have been there for us, encouraging us when we felt like quitting, and supporting our efforts to bring hope to other veterans struggling with PTSD. We love and appreciate each and every one of you. This book also would not be possible without the assistance and participation of the veterans and medical professionals who agreed to share their stories and their advice to others struggling with PTSD in the pages of this book. Thank you for your bravery and for your honesty in chronicling your ongoing battle with PTSD. To Dr. Sudip Bose, a heartfelt thank you for not only sharing your efforts to bring awareness to PTSD and abolish the stigma surrounding it, but for continuing to fight for the health and well-being of our veterans. Our readers will want to check out The Battle Continues, Dr. Bose’s nonprofit organization that is dedicated to raising awareness and providing assistance to veterans who have returned from war. Information about the organization can be found in the Resources section of this book. To Kate Dahlstedt, co-founder of Soldier’s Heart clinical psychologist, your candidness about women veterans and PTSD is greatly appreciated. Oftentimes, women veterans struggling with PTSD can be overlooked. But the trauma is just as real and devastating for them as it is for their male counterparts. Additionally, your sharing of the Soldier’s Heart program protocol for the book is something we especially appreciate, as we feel it is something that truly can make a difference in the lives of those who have picked up this book in their quest to be understood and helped. Information about Soldier’s Heart can be found in the Resources section of this book. To Dr. Roger Brooke, a licensed psychologist and Director of the Military Psychological Services at the Duquesne University Psychology Clinic, thank you for sharing your perspective on how PTSD not only affects the mind, but also the soul. Your words, combined with those of Kate Dahlstedt, provide powerful credence to the belief that PTSD trauma resides not in the mind, but in the soul. It is our hope that your words encourage veterans to consider tackling their PTSD in a way that they may not have previously considered. To Samantha Supernaw, a licensed therapist who shared her successes with a specific form of counseling protocol for individuals with PTSD, thank you for taking the time to share this groundbreaking therapy method with our readers, and for your willingness to continue to hone your skills and expertise so that you may be a resource for our veterans. To our editor, Peter Bosak, who helped us to bring this manuscript to life in a readable format, thank you for being a part of this journey. Your wordsmithing abilities have been truly appreciated. And lastly, to the veterans and their families who have dedicated their lives in service to this country, we appreciate you the most. We hope those of you who are struggling with PTSD – whether you are an active military member, a veteran or a loved one – find the contents of this book to be helpful to you, providing a sense of peace in knowing that others share in your journey, and the encouragement to continue the battle. Find our book here on Amazon. |
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