While in journalism school, I learned many dos and do nots of writing. Number five on the list was, without a doubt, my professor's biggest pet peeve. If you split an infinitive when writing an article or paper for him, you might as well take your notepad and go home. The only sin worse than number five on this list is misspelling a person's name. I notice that particular piece of advice is missing from this cleverly-written document. However, it is a cardinal rule. If you are unable to spell a person's name correctly, what other facts have you gotten wrong?
Being a writer takes more than a clever thought and a computer or notebook to record it. And while this piece is meant to generate a laugh or two, underneath the clever writing is some solid advice. Follow it, and you will become a top-notch writer.